Today I feel like an official resident of Korea.
Is it because I have tried more than twenty different kinds of kimchi? No. Is it because I have gotten black out drunk on soju, and stumbled out of the nori bang at dawn? No. It's not even because I have received my first dong-chim by a seven year old--I have just relieved myself using a squatting toilet.
It's Saturday again, and I am not in Seoul again. I have drunk to much alcohol again. I have drunkenly flirted to no ultimate conclusion again. I have lost another kilo, and gotten a little bit tougher again. I have endured another week of classes and have broken another shit student again. I have somehow avoided punching Tim Zasly in the face yet again. All-in-all, it has been a pretty normal week, with one or two notable exceptions.
Most importantly I have joined an MMA gym. I have paid two months in advance. I am still doing yoga and running in the mornings. I can do pull ups now, and I've put two new holes in my belt. It feels good. Babysitting a bunch of kids that treat you with zero respect because you're a foreigner is excellent motivation for beating the shit out of a punching bag until your arms refuse to function.
We have a new Korean teacher at the school and she is cute! Actually, we are a pretty good-looking group of teachers over at Beyond Advanced. Unfortunately, dating within the school is taboo. It's actually in our contracts that we cannot date other employees. Interestingly, the contracts are not legally binding in any way, at least for us foreigners. Also, the job security for foreign teachers is pretty good. We would have to mess up hard to get fired. One of my predecessors was a fat, lazy stinky American that put zero effort into teaching, but instead of firing him, the powers that be merely gave him less responsibility.
Allegedly, though, it's not such a light matter for the Korean teachers. Greg told me a story about how another one of my predecessors dated a Korean co-teacher, and the powers that be responded by firing her (the Korean co-teacher). Once in a while I run into the Korean kindergarten teacher I was hitting on after sports day (I'm refusing to use caps here out of malice), and she smiles but never stays to talk.
Brady is getting lonely. But he hears that in Seoul, it's easier for lonely westerners to get pretty Korean girl friends. Alas, the timing isn't right quite yet.
Ah, this is noteworthy: I've decided to embrace Korean culture and buy a scooter. I can buy a 100 cc scooter, and ride it without a license (or a helmet, incidentally), and, for a good one, it will only cost me 700,000. With what I am paying in cab fare, it should pay for itself by December.
In other news, I have allowed one of my few good friends in Tongyeong access to the blog. I figure I can let one person read, and if shit gets back to me, then at least I will know who to throw in the river. ;)
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Not in Seoul, Again / Everybody Hates Brady
I am not in Seoul again. This is the third such false start.
My contact there, the intern from CJSF, did not return my e-mail (sent last Wednesday) until Saturday morning. I think she is giving me the Korean-style break-up.
What is the Korean style-break-up?
Well, it's pretty simple. Koreans love to save face, so instead of having messy face-to-face break ups, or slightly less messy, but contemptible telephone break-ups, or even e-mail break-ups, they just stop calling you. They pretend you have dropped off the edge of the planet. Classy, right?
I guess on the bright side, I have saved a couple hundred thousand won.
Q: What will you spend your couple-hundred thousand won on, Brady?
A: Great, question, Brady, I think I will save up for a super cool scooter.
Yes, for a mere 700,000 won, an ordinary chap like myself can but a quite-nice scooter, and as long as it is under 100 ccs, then chaps are not even required to have insurance, or driving license.
Sometimes I feel like the pool of English-speaking people, who I have not unintentionally, yet significantly offended is getting smaller daily. Long story short, I will not be playing basketball or bowling any longer.
Of course, being the industrious and not being prone to sulking fellow that I am, I very quickly decided on an alternative way to spend my week, so I have joined a studio that teaches mixed martial arts.
In related news, I am down to 83 kilos (for those not used to kilos, 1 kilo=2.2 lbs.).
I am going to shoot for 80 kilos by July 1st, so that I will be in tight shape for the Mud Festival.
Yes the Mud Festival. Our school is organizing a trip, actually. I think we are going to Daegu or some such place.
My contact there, the intern from CJSF, did not return my e-mail (sent last Wednesday) until Saturday morning. I think she is giving me the Korean-style break-up.
What is the Korean style-break-up?
Well, it's pretty simple. Koreans love to save face, so instead of having messy face-to-face break ups, or slightly less messy, but contemptible telephone break-ups, or even e-mail break-ups, they just stop calling you. They pretend you have dropped off the edge of the planet. Classy, right?
I guess on the bright side, I have saved a couple hundred thousand won.
Q: What will you spend your couple-hundred thousand won on, Brady?
A: Great, question, Brady, I think I will save up for a super cool scooter.
Yes, for a mere 700,000 won, an ordinary chap like myself can but a quite-nice scooter, and as long as it is under 100 ccs, then chaps are not even required to have insurance, or driving license.
Sometimes I feel like the pool of English-speaking people, who I have not unintentionally, yet significantly offended is getting smaller daily. Long story short, I will not be playing basketball or bowling any longer.
Of course, being the industrious and not being prone to sulking fellow that I am, I very quickly decided on an alternative way to spend my week, so I have joined a studio that teaches mixed martial arts.
In related news, I am down to 83 kilos (for those not used to kilos, 1 kilo=2.2 lbs.).
I am going to shoot for 80 kilos by July 1st, so that I will be in tight shape for the Mud Festival.
Yes the Mud Festival. Our school is organizing a trip, actually. I think we are going to Daegu or some such place.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
A Generic Week in Tongyeong
I realize I have jumped around quite a bit in previous entries, and I haven't really given a feel for the week-to week experience here. The following is my half-assed attempt to remedy this malady. Actually, there is a lot of structure to my weeks so, I will approach it on a day to day basis.
Monday
My Mondays are good, as Mondays go. I get up and do a couple of sun salutations. I usually run, because I probably didn't get drunk on Sunday. When I run I feel good. I may or may not go into work early, depending on whether or not there is an unexpected burden of extra work. This week, we are entering the final stretch for open classes, and its the foreign teacher's month to do student evaluations. Like every other part of the job, Pamela has not told me a damn thing about it, and like everything else, has just expected me to pick it up on my own, or harass other teachers for the requisite information.
Monday night is basketball night. I like basketball night. Basketball night means I get to hang out with lots of colleagues and not feel pressured to drink. Also, many of my peers wear short shorts.
Tuesday
Tuesdays are much like Mondays. I get a break from six forty-five to seven-thirty, and my last class is full of "problem children". There is no scheduled evening-time activity, so sometimes I walk home and listen to music or Korean language lessons (this takes about an hour). At home I might meditate for half an hour (and usually get nowhere), or do some stretches or work out a little, otherwise I read. Right now I'm reading a book on the world history of economics. It's fascinating as hell.
Wednesday
Wednesday is the hump day. But my job is pretty easy, so I'm more excited about Wednesday for morning time basketball. Fewer people show up, but we get to play in the day light. Afterwards, some of us usually go the the jimjil bang (Korean bathhouse) to shower, soak in the tub, sit in the steam room, etc. You can get a massage and a scrub down for 20K won. I have avoided it thus far, out of reluctance to have another man scrub my taint. I might walk home or take a cab, for 4 or 5 thousand.
Thursday
That's today. Like on Tuesday, I have a break, and in my last block, I teach a class full of "problem children". Thursday night is bowling night. I have mixed feelings about bowling night, mainly because I am a shit bowler, which is why I am writing in my blog instead of sticking it out for a 3rd or 4th game. After this, I will watch an episode of Lost on this computer (I'm at a PC bang) and take a cab home. This is fairly non-typical behaviour.
Friday
Hey, that's tomorrow. I will wake up at nine-thirty, like I always do, but instead of going running ( I forgot to mention I cut my foot on a barnacle, and cannot run) I will go directly to the school to work on the student evaluations that are due on Monday. After school, I will either not drink, watch my colleagues act like assholes, and think long and hard about punching Tim Zasly in the face. Or conversely, I will get drunk, act like an asshole like everybody else, and think long and hard about punching Tim Zasly in the face. I will flirt with some girl or another and go home alone at two if I do not drink, or go home alone at four thirty if I do.
Saturday
Saturday is quickly becoming the "lets go to and island and hike day." Or, if I am hung-over, the "wake up at eleven, and then go hiking by myself day." If I go to an island, I will come back in the afternoon, and party in the evening. If I spend the day alone, I will probably call someone at six and figure out where the poker game is.
Sunday
See the latter scenario for Saturday.
So maybe that's a typical week. Things are always changing, but that should give you a feel for what the day-to day is like. The weekend after next, I am going to Seoul to meet a former colleague from CJSF and native Korean. On that Sunday, I plan to do a 5 hour meditation workshop. If it goes well, I might make Seoul a bi-weekly thing.
Okay, time to become enlightened of the final mysteries of the island. The last season isn't that fantastic, and the characters are starting to annoy me. But I can't stop now, and at least I'll get to watch 'em die!
Monday
My Mondays are good, as Mondays go. I get up and do a couple of sun salutations. I usually run, because I probably didn't get drunk on Sunday. When I run I feel good. I may or may not go into work early, depending on whether or not there is an unexpected burden of extra work. This week, we are entering the final stretch for open classes, and its the foreign teacher's month to do student evaluations. Like every other part of the job, Pamela has not told me a damn thing about it, and like everything else, has just expected me to pick it up on my own, or harass other teachers for the requisite information.
Monday night is basketball night. I like basketball night. Basketball night means I get to hang out with lots of colleagues and not feel pressured to drink. Also, many of my peers wear short shorts.
Tuesday
Tuesdays are much like Mondays. I get a break from six forty-five to seven-thirty, and my last class is full of "problem children". There is no scheduled evening-time activity, so sometimes I walk home and listen to music or Korean language lessons (this takes about an hour). At home I might meditate for half an hour (and usually get nowhere), or do some stretches or work out a little, otherwise I read. Right now I'm reading a book on the world history of economics. It's fascinating as hell.
Wednesday
Wednesday is the hump day. But my job is pretty easy, so I'm more excited about Wednesday for morning time basketball. Fewer people show up, but we get to play in the day light. Afterwards, some of us usually go the the jimjil bang (Korean bathhouse) to shower, soak in the tub, sit in the steam room, etc. You can get a massage and a scrub down for 20K won. I have avoided it thus far, out of reluctance to have another man scrub my taint. I might walk home or take a cab, for 4 or 5 thousand.
Thursday
That's today. Like on Tuesday, I have a break, and in my last block, I teach a class full of "problem children". Thursday night is bowling night. I have mixed feelings about bowling night, mainly because I am a shit bowler, which is why I am writing in my blog instead of sticking it out for a 3rd or 4th game. After this, I will watch an episode of Lost on this computer (I'm at a PC bang) and take a cab home. This is fairly non-typical behaviour.
Friday
Hey, that's tomorrow. I will wake up at nine-thirty, like I always do, but instead of going running ( I forgot to mention I cut my foot on a barnacle, and cannot run) I will go directly to the school to work on the student evaluations that are due on Monday. After school, I will either not drink, watch my colleagues act like assholes, and think long and hard about punching Tim Zasly in the face. Or conversely, I will get drunk, act like an asshole like everybody else, and think long and hard about punching Tim Zasly in the face. I will flirt with some girl or another and go home alone at two if I do not drink, or go home alone at four thirty if I do.
Saturday
Saturday is quickly becoming the "lets go to and island and hike day." Or, if I am hung-over, the "wake up at eleven, and then go hiking by myself day." If I go to an island, I will come back in the afternoon, and party in the evening. If I spend the day alone, I will probably call someone at six and figure out where the poker game is.
Sunday
See the latter scenario for Saturday.
So maybe that's a typical week. Things are always changing, but that should give you a feel for what the day-to day is like. The weekend after next, I am going to Seoul to meet a former colleague from CJSF and native Korean. On that Sunday, I plan to do a 5 hour meditation workshop. If it goes well, I might make Seoul a bi-weekly thing.
Okay, time to become enlightened of the final mysteries of the island. The last season isn't that fantastic, and the characters are starting to annoy me. But I can't stop now, and at least I'll get to watch 'em die!
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Sports Day
Brady: Nowhere in my contract did it say I would be obligated to dance like a moron.
Greg: Brady, you work in a kindergarten.
Brady: Point of fact: I do not work in a kindergarten.
Greg: Good point.
I don't want to linger too long on Sports Day, because I have little good to say about the experience. The aftermath, however, was pretty fun.
I'll start by telling you all a little about the owner or Beyond Advanced. Her English name is *****. I presume she is about fourty five, but it's hard to tell with all the cosmetic surgery. If she is forty five, then she is fourty five going on sixteen. She dresses like a sixteen year old, and is known to wear scandalously high skirts on occasion.
Long story short, I felt like the whole purpose of Sports Day was one half publicity for the school and one half private party for *****. Sports Day is for the kindergarten students. I, by the way, do not work in the kindergarten, neither do most of my foreigner colleagues. And yet we were all asked to wake up early on a Sunday, so we could spend our day watching kindergarten students and their parents doing sports-type competitive activities. Occasionally, we would by ushered up to dance like buffoons.
As an aside, most of my colleagues were super-excited to do the dances. Which is fine, but I don't like dancing, especially cute little kiddy dances, and their unexpected enthusiasm made me look like a hard ass.
The skinny is, we were props, brought in to legitimize the school as an English academy. We were made to dance for the kids and parents, and bow to them, as they came and went from the venue. We had to endure six hours of Korean pop music blaring out of PA speakers, interspersed with *****. incomprehensibly yammering into a microphone, and every so often blowing a whistle very loudly, DIRECTLY INTO THE MIC. We did not compete in all but one of the activities, and we cleaned up afterwards. We were not paid. Which comes on the heels of us all donating money for a huge flower display for Jennifer on Teacher's Day. In the past, I am told, teachers have been given a hundred thousand won bonus on Teacher's Day. We received nothing.
Also, I was sick.
So, what is my final word on Sports Day? N E V E R A G A I N.
The good part of the day, was that we got taken out for dinner afterward at a Korean barbecue, and on top of hanging out with our regular colleagues, we got to hang out and drink with all the cute kindergarten teachers.
We all were a bit tipsy after dinner, and everyone was in a good mood, so most of us headed out to the norae bang (kareoke room). There, the Korean teachers sang Korean songs, and us westerners sang English songs. A good time was had by all. I even danced like a moron voluntarily.
The evening dragged on and some of us lonely English guys were hitting it off with the Korean kindergarten teachers. My advances toward one of the kindergarten teachers were largely deflected by one of my Korean speaking colleagues, but Morgan and Ben did all right.
Greg: Brady, you work in a kindergarten.
Brady: Point of fact: I do not work in a kindergarten.
Greg: Good point.
I don't want to linger too long on Sports Day, because I have little good to say about the experience. The aftermath, however, was pretty fun.
I'll start by telling you all a little about the owner or Beyond Advanced. Her English name is *****. I presume she is about fourty five, but it's hard to tell with all the cosmetic surgery. If she is forty five, then she is fourty five going on sixteen. She dresses like a sixteen year old, and is known to wear scandalously high skirts on occasion.
Long story short, I felt like the whole purpose of Sports Day was one half publicity for the school and one half private party for *****. Sports Day is for the kindergarten students. I, by the way, do not work in the kindergarten, neither do most of my foreigner colleagues. And yet we were all asked to wake up early on a Sunday, so we could spend our day watching kindergarten students and their parents doing sports-type competitive activities. Occasionally, we would by ushered up to dance like buffoons.
As an aside, most of my colleagues were super-excited to do the dances. Which is fine, but I don't like dancing, especially cute little kiddy dances, and their unexpected enthusiasm made me look like a hard ass.
The skinny is, we were props, brought in to legitimize the school as an English academy. We were made to dance for the kids and parents, and bow to them, as they came and went from the venue. We had to endure six hours of Korean pop music blaring out of PA speakers, interspersed with *****. incomprehensibly yammering into a microphone, and every so often blowing a whistle very loudly, DIRECTLY INTO THE MIC. We did not compete in all but one of the activities, and we cleaned up afterwards. We were not paid. Which comes on the heels of us all donating money for a huge flower display for Jennifer on Teacher's Day. In the past, I am told, teachers have been given a hundred thousand won bonus on Teacher's Day. We received nothing.
Also, I was sick.
So, what is my final word on Sports Day? N E V E R A G A I N.
The good part of the day, was that we got taken out for dinner afterward at a Korean barbecue, and on top of hanging out with our regular colleagues, we got to hang out and drink with all the cute kindergarten teachers.
We all were a bit tipsy after dinner, and everyone was in a good mood, so most of us headed out to the norae bang (kareoke room). There, the Korean teachers sang Korean songs, and us westerners sang English songs. A good time was had by all. I even danced like a moron voluntarily.
The evening dragged on and some of us lonely English guys were hitting it off with the Korean kindergarten teachers. My advances toward one of the kindergarten teachers were largely deflected by one of my Korean speaking colleagues, but Morgan and Ben did all right.
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