Et Cetera

Disclaimer: There will be no order or reason to this blog entry. It will be a wandering rant with no focus or cohesion. The author recommends that the reader consume alcohol before reading to give the illusion of cohesion.

I am hung-over. I want to write. My brain says no but my fingers say yes...

Yes, I have lost another battle with alcohol, I have woken up feeling like garbage and I probably made a huge ass out of myself last night.

I am not very happy right now, but no one wants to read about people complaining all of the time, so I will do my best to report on as much positive as negative...or at least try to be funny about the negative.

Part One: Fuck You Jenny*!

A couple of weeks ago I met an English girl at No Smoking.** She was pretty and nice and had a good smile. She bitched about the Americans. I bitched about the Americans. We both bitched about the Americans and felt pretty good about ourselves.

Jenny has a Greek something. It has been speculated that this Greek something is, in fact, Jenny' s boyfriend. It has also been speculated that their relationship is slightly more "cosmopolitan" than your run of the mill variety.

I had a lot of fun last weekend hanging out with Jenny, the Greek and the rest of their crew. I felt like I had gained a special place in an international community and and social niche. I was very excited to go with them to Seoul, on the weekend. So I was a little let down when Jenny mentioned to me, only after e-mailing her to ask about bus tickets, that she might not be going to Seoul anyway. She made it sound like she was pretty sure she was not going, which would be fine, except that she decided to go anyway...without telling me (I found out from a Facebook wall post).

Suddenly I feel really bad for trash-talking Americans.


Part 2: Soju Vs. The Buddha

I was sober for a week, I swear! Well...almost a week...four days counts, right? Ah, go fuck yourself!

I've been trying to use the opportunity of being in Korea to reinvent myself--to become fit and trim and clear-headed. And actually, I've made some progress: I go hiking every weekend, and I have gotten into a morning routine of yoga/stretching, running, and meditation, which makes me feel fantastic. I don't have a TV or a computer at home, so I read for an hour or two most nights.

Unfortunately, there is a yin to my yang. When I am by myself, I tend to be very healthy. When I am out with people, however, I start drinking. And I keep drinking until I go home. Maybe it's the Irish blood. Maybe it's the Irish teachers. Maybe it's the fact that soju costs a thousand won per bottle (~$1). In any case, I'm losing weight running, but gaining the it back by drinking beer every night. I clean out the garbage in my mind by meditating, only to wake up with hang-over madness, and a guilty conscience for acting like a drunken asshole.

Part Three: What Am I Going to Do This Weekend?


I really have no idea what I'm writing right now, because I don't have any plans. Well, I have tentative plans to hang out with a Korean girl on Sunday, but I get the feeling that she is just as flaky as Jenny.

I promised myself that I would sign up for Hapkido this weekend and buy myself a bike or a guitar. If I sign up for Hapkido, I imagine I will become obsessed with it very quickly and spend all of my time training at the studio. Perhaps I will go there after I finish writing this.

Oh, it's Buddah's Birthday today, which is a significant reason why I wish had gone to Seoul. Apparently, there are lantern festivals which are supposedly pretty cool. Anyway, there are quite a few temples in Tongyeong, so maybe I will check some of them out.

The other big reason why I wanted to go to Seoul this weekend is because pretty much the coolest dude I've met while down here has been training in MMA for the past year and was going to have a fight. Sadly, it was cancelled. Oh well, it makes me feel better about staying in Tongyeong.

Part Four: The Cursory Bit About Work


I try not to think about work on the weekends. Not because it is overly stressful, but because I think about it enough during the week. It's not a hard job. Being a line cook was much harder, stressful, and required significantly more skill. But then I didn't have to constantly strive to make children focus. Right now we are preparing for open classes, so in four of my classes, we are practicing the same bullshit lesson over and over again for two or three weeks, for the express purpose of putting on a show for the parents.

Speaking of which, they want us to come in next Sunday pro-bono for "Sports Day." What the shit do sports have to do with learning English at a hagwan? Anyway, it gets better: they want us to rehearse and perform a dance for the parents. I'm thinking of flat-out refusing. I never had to deal with this shit as a cook.

One last thing about work. I have one student who never listens and is constantly talking in Korean. Constantly. If given the chance he will mess up his class's open class. He is always playing with stickers and shit. One day he shined a laser in my eye. I have never felt so strong an urge to physically injure a ten year old.

et al.

*Not her real name
**No Smoking is an ironically named bar that white people go to on Friday to hijack the play list and get loser drunk. It is owned by a lady named Sue who in addition to No Smoking owns a store called "Olive"