Time Off and Back to Work

It's been a long time since I've posted anything...

I had most of February off. Lucky for me, my middle school did not ask me to desk warm, so I had two weeks of straight time off. Thinking back on it, I don't know what I did with most of my time, although, I did enjoy myself.

I did manage to do a couple things of note. I went to Tongyeong one weekend, which was, of course incredibly nostalgic. Before I arrived in Jinju, I thought I would never be back there, but I've been back three times since I've gotten here (I think). It's very strange being there. Living there seemed to be a lifetime ago, or it seems like it was someone else's life. Three or four people I knew happened to still be around--either returning briefly, nearing the end of their initial contract, or continuing a renewal. While I was there, I bowled (nostalgia), drank (heavily) and I hiked the most beautiful hike full of familiar views, which eventually dumped me out near my old apartment. (mega nostalgia).

The second thing of note I did was go hiking in Jirsan, with my old friend Matt, who now lives in Sacheon. Matt has been here for a couple years now. I like hanging out with him because he has a great disposition, and he is in his mid-30s, so I don't feel old around him (although pretty unfit). I took the train to Hadong and met him there. We lost the trail pretty early on, and stupidly decided to bushwack it up the mountain for some three hours or so...never making it to the top, sadly. The nice thing about the (mis)adventure was that we rested a couple of times in parts of the forest where people didn't really go, so there was this incredible stillness--just birds chirping and calm. 

The third and final thing I did of note was go to Musangsa temple for a temple stay. I was keen on going because last time around, my temple stay was...not a real temple stay. Last year I made it up to Haeinsa temple, and I stayed a night there but I didn't get to participate in any of the monk activities. This time, I got a more genuine experience--doing the chanting and the 108 bows, and the 2 hours plus of meditation per day. I was surprised at how good the food was. This was, by the way and international temple, so all of the monk spoke English. Curiously, about half of the monks were younger than me, and the other half, older. 

Although the experience was good, all-in-all, I didn't like the idea of making such a big deal about enlightenment. I like it was some grandiose thing that can somehow be attained, through endless hours of meditation, and 100 day solo retreats...as if you could somehow build it. Actually, I think these things are helpful, but somehow, it seemed a forced. One woman had just taken her vows at another monastery and had returned to Musangsa to live as a nun. She had to do 3000 bows in one day, as part of the process! My legs felt like ground beef after 108.

I've been back at school for about a week and a half now. I've at my middle school, new teachers have joined and I lost my old desk in the teachers room. I now hang out all day by myself in the English room, which gets a bit lonely. 

I've started at a different middle school, which I will be teaching at the other 3 days of the week. Right now, it's causing me an incredible amount of stress...namely, because I'm not sure about how to construct my lessons. I know there is a CD to follow, but it doesn't fill enough time, and I'm not sure what else to put in, that isn't going to take too long, and is going to be relevant to the lesson, and is going to keep the student's attention, etc. 

This time around, it's an entirely different experience. Actually, my co-teacher at the elementary school asked me if I was having culture shock. I told here I was here for a year previously, so no, I wasn't....but I think I am.

Truth is, I've been incredibly depressed this last week...to the point that I'm thinking about leaving.